


Russian Earl Grey

by TheAwfulDodger



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Baby Black Widows - Freeform, Ballerina Natasha, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Flashbacks, Gen, HYDRA Trash Party adjacent, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Health Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, POV Bucky Barnes, Present Tense, Protective Steve, Snow, Unreliable Narrator, Widowlings, disjointed writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17532959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwfulDodger/pseuds/TheAwfulDodger
Summary: It's snowing outside and Bucky's having flashbacks.





	Russian Earl Grey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kallanda_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kallanda_Lee/gifts).



Walking outside in a blizzard, thick woollen coat and fur hat keeping him warm, leather gloved hands holding a Mosin-Nagant rifle. He’s in between the two perimeter fences, completing the routine perimeter check that Matsei had fobbed off on him because of the weather. The dog is on the Soldier’s heels as he approaches the guardhouse where Matsei is waiting.

“собака” Matsei calls, and both the Soldier and the dog look up expectantly.

“Put the dog in the kennel, then back to your own kennel.” Matsei orders, laughing at his own joke.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He’s inside and the air is warm, the snow on his coat and hat starts to melt instantly. He leaves clumps of slush where he stands. A flurry of little hands brush the snow from his back and shoulders, standing on tiptoes to reach. He brushes their hands away.

“Яша you’re covered in snow!” one little voice pipes up. He unbuttons the heavy coat and more little hands pull it away. “We had солянка for dinner” another soft voice tells him. “We saved you a bowl, Яша!” a third one announces proudly.

He plucks the уша́нка from his head and plops it onto the bouncy red curls in front of him with. Green eyes open wide in shock as a clump of snow falls off the hat and down between the girl’s shoulderblades. “Яшааа! “ It makes his chest ache in a way that has nothing to do with the cold.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The snow is thick outside and they have nothing to do but wait for the transport that is delayed by the heavy snowfall. The XO’s foot kicks against the inside of the Soldier’s, urging him to flex wider while a hand on his shoulder presses down.

Cigarette smoke curls up where the Commander leans against the doorpost.

“Remind me again why we’re doing this, Jack?” he drawls, and the XO rolls his eyes.

“Because you can’t stretch out his adductors by bending him over your desk, Brock! And tight adductors mess up your balance.” he growls, giving the Soldier’s shoulder another vicious downward push.

“No but it lets me stretch something else out very nicely!” the Commander leers.

He never used to have tight hips, the Soldier unwillingly recalls, as an image of a pas de deux with a ballerina with red curls flashes before his eyes, muscle memory recalling the ballet moves perfectly.

 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

“- - - tea, James?”

He looks up and sees her green eyes watching him as the blizzard rages outside. The wind is howling outside the Tower, thick snowflakes spattering against the window. He’s sitting in the kitchen, Natasha on the other side of the counter.  
He can tell by the look in her eyes that she must have been talking to him, must have asked him a question and he must have zoned out. Her eyes soften a little, one corner of her mouth ticking up in a half smile.

“You were miles away, weren’t you?” He shrugs, returning her half-smile. She shakes the battered old tin of tealeaves. Russian Earl Grey, he knows, without knowing how he knows.

“I asked if you still like lemon in your tea.” she asks, as a strong, muscled arm curls around his shoulders and Steve pecks him on the cheek. Steve’s cold red nose pushes against his cheek. He smells of outside, of snow and of Steve.

“…I honestly don’t know…” Bucky whispers, blinking because his eyes feel dry.

Steve and Natasha’s eyes meet. He knows what they are saying in their silent communication and it breaks his heart into a thousand shards of ice. He’s broken, he’s broken and they know it.

“That’s okay, Buck, you can try and see if you do.” Steve says softly, giving him another soft kiss on his cheek as the silence turns to lead and the snow outside continues to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
> собака - dog  
> Яша - Yasha  
> солянка - a Russian sweet and sour wintery soup  
> уша́нка - Russian fur hat with earflaps (ushanka)
> 
> It's short, it's bad but hey, I wrote!


End file.
